Grief is love, Disconnected. The Breath is our Way to Reconnect. Do you agree?
This year I experienced the deepest grief I’ve ever known and continue to know. I feel forever changed and have been left with two choices, shrink in fear or grow in a significant way.
Although I’m not ready to dive into the details, I can say that what I’ve been inspired to create with Leverage Events has a piece of that experience in it. The breath has taught me so much during this time of sadness.
I want to simply say that I’m learning through experience and experimentation, so by nature it’s imperfect. I’m reaching for tools and have been sending you breath work practices because I’ve needed them too. However, something was missing in that content.
My “why” was missing so today I want to go a little deeper with you.
The promise of being able to change your state with the breath was, well, everything for me. I strive to be peaceful, forgiving, open, and nonreactive because from this place active, useful, and clear responses are possible. These responses create meaningful changes within any relationship. This is the state I wanted the breath to put me in: All. The. Time.
Last week I awoke to a trigger that sent me stumbling back into all the raw emotions. It was paralyzing. I found myself unable to function. It took me over 30 minutes to make Sophia her morning smoothie and at 10am I was STILL in my bathrobe staring into oblivion.
By 10:15 I had had enough. I wanted to be present for my daughter and focused for my meetings that where scheduled in an hour. So, I decided to use the Red Bull of Breathing. As promised, in ten minutes I felt transformed. I was energized, clear, focused and ready to move on with my day.
That night while interviewing Rob Wilson (my breath coach who will be teaching at Leverage Events this coming Sunday), I realized something critically important:
Breath practice isn’t about “being peaceful,” it’s about being truthful and accepting of ourselves as we are.
Rob said, “It’s the moment of acceptance when you say, ‘ok I’m stressed out right now’ and not use the breath to push that moment away. To use your breath to sit right in the middle of it.” (In case you missed the interview here’s the link and if you skip to 23:00 you’ll hear this golden nugget.)
Magic happened for me the very next day.
While I was driving the tears began rolling again. This time instead of trying to kick my emotions out like an unwelcomed guest, or watching them like a judgmental bystander, I welcomed them as I would a dear friend.
First, I identified the feeling as grief and then I quite literally said, “Hello (inhale). Thanks for coming (exhale). Is there anything you’d like to tell me? (Breathe and observe.)”
Second, I listened and here is what I heard, “I am love.” And the next thing I became aware of was that grief is love, disconnected.
I realized that by breathing and entering a conversation with my emotions I could still connect to the soul I thought I had lost because there is no death for a soul (Your option may be different. It doesn’t change this process).
Every time we choose to listen to the breath, and ask questions to our bodies and beyond, we are making time to reconnect with a greater intelligence that lies within ourselves.
If it feels right to you (you’ll know), I encourage you to experiment with the breath in this way.
1) When you notice an uncomfortable feeling arise, pause.
2) Purposefully take slow steady breaths as you observe your feelings.
3) Don’t attempt to change them.
4) Let them know they are welcome and perhaps even thank them.
5) Observe Again
The simple act of being seen, heard, and accepted can be a catalyst for change.
There are so many ways to use the breath. My hope for you is that you experiment to find the combo that helps honors where you are and where you want to go.
The Art of Breath was such an incredible event.
P.S. If you want to attend our next event, take a look at our new Leverage Membership where we will be offering you to attend one event for FREE here: