Big news! My belly is getting bigger and so is my family. I’m 20 weeks pregnant and am due Nov 16th!
Celebratory announcements always sound so exciting and relatively simple, don’t they?! My first instinct is to reach out with love and say, “Congratulations!” But these days, I find myself wanting to take a pause to honor all that’s seen and unseen lying within each of these moments.
What I mean by the seen and unseen, is the journey that one must go through on either side of a celebration. Before the celebration there were most likely courageous acts accompanied by twists, turns, and burns that ask us to reassess our stories, values, and dreams. After the celebration, awaits the next great unknown journey.
First trimester was an unseen journey for sure. It was complex. Having just come to peace with the notion that Sophia might be our one, seeing a positive pregnancy test was a bit of a shock. I was afraid of re-living the painful experience of our last loss. I felt the emotions of gratitude and hope, while also feeling insanely tired and terribly sick. I withdrew from most things I identified with including friends, work, and helping around the house in order to conserve my energy. From there I got to observe my thoughts around self-worth when I’m not feeling bright, business forward, or outwardly useful.
Update- I’m feeling way better now, the sun is out and it almost feels like summer in Maine! I’m still adjusting for my energy levels, listening to my body, and trying to assess what offerings I’ll put out to the world next year as I enter new beginnings with a new being.
Here’s the one thing I know:
Every journey of the heart puts us right at the center of paradox, where pain and love co-exist as potent teachers.
I’m thankful for these journeys, for awakening, and for the opportunity to be held in this space in between what was and what is to be.
My invitation to you:
- Pause to commemorate something current in your life. Maybe it was taking time for yourself, or having a hard honest conversation.
- Then add in a moment of silence to honor the fullness of it all.
No one’s journey is all sunshine and butterflies. The dark is rich and the light is always possible. We’re all in this together saying, “Yes!” to the full spectrum of life and holding this truth for each person we know.
Top Image: Courtney Elizabeth