Why I Sent My Husband Away for Two Weeks

This past Christmas I gave Steve a gift certificate to the Boulder (Utah) Outdoor Survival School. I was essentially sending him away for two weeks to fill his cup.  Steve was very hesitant to redeem his gift certificate. Timing and circumstances seemed less than ideal. He had some heavy life decisions to make that felt time sensitive. He also worried about leaving me with a very active four-year-old while fatigued and in my third trimester.


Prioritizing wellness is often most potent when it’s least convenient!


In July he asked again, “Are you sure? I don’t have to go.” My gut felt so strong on this one. I simply responded, “I like you most when you’re most yourself.”


We’re all a little better when we take time to slow down and do the thing that makes us feel most alive, and most like our authentic selves.  Don’t you agree?


If you have a partner, it may feel like a huge weight on your shoulders to send him off, and that’s important to pay attention too.  It’s not fun being a martyr nor does anyone want a martyr waiting at home! I’ve been focused for over a year on increasing my circle of support.  Sophia is also more independent. So I felt confident that between family, friends, scheduling a sitter, and a movie here and there, I would be well supported.


It’s self serving to have our partners fill their cups and smart to make sure we’re well supported while they’re doing so.  It’s also smart to prioritize filling our own cups! What I want for my partner and myself is to be confident, clear, centered, and connected. I value slowing down enough to feel into pain, old patterns, and the things that bring joy. I want our big life decisions to be made from a place that is authentic, in-tune, and courageous.


I’m guessing that like Steve, you also have a full plate and substantial life decisions to make. I’m guessing if you’re putting out fires, it might seem impossible to set aside time for a reset. Remember, prioritizing wellness is often most potent when it’s least convenient! The trick is to schedule it in ahead of time! Commit to it, and let other’s know you’re committed!


The number one thing people in my Tools of Gold for the Embodied Feminine program said was, “I loved having one nonnegotiable day of nourishment and connection set aside every month.” Different phases in life offer different ways to step away and reboot. It may be a five-minute meditation before the baby wakes, then maybe a two-hour workshop, or a one-day event close to home, and then later it may be a weeklong retreat in paradise. It might be a hike in the woods, a dip in the ocean, or simply returning to your breath… now.


Reality will shift on your behalf when you purposely put a wedge in your current cycle and prioritize returning to yourself. When you do this for you, then you’ll encourage others to do the same. Suddenly your ecosystem looks a lot more supportive and promising.


So let me ask you:

  • When do you feel most alive, and most like your authentic self?
  • Can you think of 3 specific examples?
  • Are you willing to schedule in time to do more of that, no matter how apprehensive you are?
  • Is there someone in your life that could use a refill? Are you in a place to honestly support that?


Thanks for taking a pause with me.


With love,



Speaking of scheduling in time to refill your cup, Karen Kenney is back April 5th, 2020. This one day deep dive changed my life last year, and so she’s the one event I chose to do again next year! Prioritize you and schedule ahead!


Photo by: Courtney Elizabeth Photography



2019-09-09T10:29:48+00:00 September 7th, 2019|Uncategorized|